 Bereavement - Overcoming Feelings of Helplessness
Oftentimes bereaved persons feel life is out of
control and that they are helpless to do anything to change it. Life has
changed dramatically for you, but it does not have to be unmanageable. There
are a few simple things you can do to regain your sense of control.
Express your
feelings. Sometimes we hold feelings inside in an effort to maintain
control. This may be effective for a time, but it is like a pressure
cooker ... sooner or later it will explode if it is not allowed to vent.
Set a schedule.
Make a list of activities you used to enjoy doing or always thought you
might like to try. Schedule something every day to help you get out of
the house and active in doing something. Be careful, however, not to use
activities as a way to avoid grief.
Recognize your loss
and changes. Make a list of what has changed in your life and what
is difficult. On one side, list things you CANNOT change and on the
other list things you CAN do something about. Looking at what you CAN do
may help give you a sense of control.
Allow others to
help you. If you had a broken leg, it would be natural for others to
reach out and help you. Because your injury is not physical, others
often cannot see it. Tell your friends what you need. By allowing them
to help you, you give them the blessing of being able to help someone.
Reach out to
others. This may not be possible at first, but as you can, reaching
out to others can be therapeutic, giving you a feeling of purpose and
usefulness. |
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